In my recent post about the origins of the oracle of Delphi I described the recent and historical site in Greece. I also introduced a more personal layer to this origin story, which I will recite here.
After graduating high school in 2001 my sister took me to mainland Greece. Apparently I was a weird kid already, having no interest in visiting the usual party locations on Greece’s many islands. I wanted to see history, so we planned a round-trip to visit many major ancient sites. Including Delphi.
Fast forward to five years later, when after many of life’s challenges my mother allowed me and my sister to adopt cats for ourselves. My sister had already found us a brother and a sister, claiming the red tabby male for herself. Upon meeting the tiny girl for the very first time I had no idea of the space she would take up in my life and heart. I named her Delphi.
The first year of her life Delphi grew up with her brother and ‘brother-from-another-mother’. When I found a place for myself and moved out she went with me. But between university and work I saw her dwindle and adopted her a new ‘brother-from-another-mother’ from the local shelter. The first two weeks were all about sibling rivalry, but eventually I found them sharing their cushion far beyond being able to fit in together.
Like every (cat)mom, yours is the one that is special. But Delphi really was special. I have never met a single soul that was not enamored upon meeting her. And even though she befriended everyone, she always had her special ways reserved only for me. For fourteen years this was the best girlfriend I could ever imagine having and during this time she helped me cope with the many, many challenges life threw at us. Until she couldn’t anymore.
FYI: I am actually crying my eyes out while writing this.
In the beginning of 2020 I noticed her weight dropping and her obsession for food increase. Having worked as an animal caretaker for almost a decade, I recognized the signs of thyroid problems and took her to the vet. Bloodwork confirmed my suspicions and I was to give her medication to normalize her thyroid gland. After a month on her meds, we revisited the vet for a checkup and her medication had worked amazingly to normalize her blood levels. Too good as it would turn out a little over a week later and here is also where the guilt kicks in.
As mentioned before I work as an animal caretaker, and I have cared for thousands of cats and their (medical) challenges. I know the anatomy and inner workings of the feline body. When the thyroid is over active, every organ in the body will speed up. Consequentially, when it slows down to normal values so will all the other organs. This includes the heart. So when the medication I gave Delphi worked on slowing her thyroid down, it also slowed her heart rate and blood flow. But because her meds worked so fast it caused the blood to clot. And with my knowledge and experience I should have seen this coming.
I didn’t, and I had to make the worst decision of my life to let her go on June 6th 2020, after a blood clot got loose and left her paralyzed.
Like I said, there is no way for me to describe this without crying my eyes out. Let’s say it is part of the healing process. For it still hurts like hell and I miss her every single day. Losing her, is the first big life challenge I have to do without her. And the pain is excruciating.
Delphi was special in life and I really want her to remain special without her physically by my side. So I will honor her and the divine site she was named after, by attaching her name to my oracles.
May it always give you what you need most.